17 May 2011

the library // color and sound is friendly and safe


i got a phone call from weird food guy today. most of the time he's after information on, well, weird food, but not today.

he started out by asking if i could find something on the computer about a company in arizona. he's never completely straight with you when conveying what he wants, so it took a few tries before i got the actual company name: opnet.

i googled the company (because google is where every librarian with a masters degree in information retrieval begins) and got a few hits (notice the lack of the word promising in that sentence).

the first result was for 'opnet inc metal focus training.' i read it to him with an implied question mark at the end: metal focus training?

he said yes.

to make a long story short, it was, in fact, not metal focus training, but mental focus training and i finally located the company's website (side note: i'm dubious about any company whose official website does not come up in the results of a search conducted with exact search terms).

he had me read through the various offerings of the company, which basically boil down to color and sound mental therapy. their official slogan is: color and sound is friendly and safe. so, in layman's terms... hypnosis.

he wanted to know if the site listed anything about the people behind it, so i found the names of the individuals in the company. still not satisfied, he asked if their pictures were included. when i replied that pictures were not included, he asked me to search the computer for their images.

i would normally stop the foolishness at this point because this is what he does all the time. look for this. and this. and can you look up one more thing? and on and on and on. but i was actually a bit curious, so i googled the first name on the list and wouldn't you know it, there was a picture.

and do you know what weird food guy said?

does she look crazy? you know, like the old lady in poltergeist?

i wanted to say, "do you sound crazy?"

instead i replied, "she is older and has short hair." but between you and me? she did look a bit kooky.


  1. These stories are the absolute best. :D

  2. he called today and (with the partridge family blaring in the background) asked who, exactly, sang the songs and played the instruments on the partridge family show if they weren't done by the actors. he wanted exact names for everybody on all recordings. what a nut!

  3. Haha! What an interesting fellow. ;)